My Victory

Making Peace With My Computer

I’ve made peace with my computer

As a way of saving face

I don’t ask for special favors

It’s my only saving grace.

It’s been a long time coming

It’s very far past due

I don’t ask for fancy tricks now  

And no snubbing it will do.

 I may not like its attitude

But I won’t let it irk my ire

I’ll keep my calm demeanor

I won’t let my temper fire.

So now we’ve called a final a truce

My only chance to win

The cranky thing will not give up

And I won’t commit more sin! @#$%&*

Remembrance Day

Remembering

 I was watching the news a minute ago and much of it had to do with the Remembrance Day Ceremonies across the nation.  That is all well and good.  I totally support it.  But I feel that it does not go far enough.  While I know that losing someone in a war is an indescribable tragedy that lives on forever in the families that are left behind, there is just as much pain for the families of the soldiers who come back injured or maimed in some way.  That kind of pain is often not visible or recognizable but most definitely no less real. It is ongoing, constant, unrelenting and  and all too often never-ending.

Those are the tragedies of war that are, in many ways, almost worse.  Nobody wants to acknowledge them - certainly not the military!  Those wounded (mentally or physically) are the forgotten casualties and quite often uncompensated ones.  It  almost seems as if the "lucky" ones are the ones that perish, because their suffering ends there, and they are even recognized and honored for it! The ones that come back maimed whether it is physically or mentally, are forgotten and often left to fend for themselves when they are least equipped to do so.

While I honor the sacrifices of the fallen, let us acknowledge that there are more tragedies of war then just the fallen!

Ongoing Education

Continuing Education

Lately,( more than usual???? or am I just venturing into too many  uncharted waters lately?) I seem to  have been pestering my computer guru/mentor with a myriad of how-do-I do-this and how-do-I-do-that questions.  She seems to have the patience of Job with me, but I am always afraid I am close to pushing her over that final edge!  This "on-going" education is tough on my old brain and it's much worse on my insecure self-confidence.

In my next life, I promise (or hope) to come back as a technical genius that knows all the answers to all the questions and has a monumental and completely unshakable self-assurance that cannot be toppled by anything or anybody!!!!     There just has to be an easy way to get all my ideas on paper without struggling or faltering.  I just gotta find it!!!!

Tragedy of Alzheimer's

Forever Lost

He stands alone, weeping, broken,

Pathetic, shattered, and forlorn.

Words surround him, he can hear them

Curses, obscenities, vile, irate

Words he never thought she'd known.

Seated before him – an angry woman

Not the mother he used to know

That loving nature, forever giving

That generous soul with never a foe

Decorous persona, serene and tender, 

With a heart so pure it defied ill will!

Somewhere from the depths of evil

A cruel disease had o’rpowered her brain

Had turned that sweetness into rancour

And acrimony, unprovoked, unbidden

Had claimed authority o’er her reign.

Now broken-hearted, her son stands sobbing

Before a mother who remembers not

Those years now gone, so full of promise

Of sweet devotion and compassion, 

A life of glorious family love.

A doting mother she had once been

Cooing love songs to her spawn

Cradling children to her bosom

And her ever-loving heart. 

That mother love’s now but a memory

A mother whose son now mourns as gone!

Halloween Fun

Halloween Frolics

With Halloween upon us, my mind wanders to days gone by ("so what else is new with you?" you ask).  You are right.  I do dwell in the past alot, don't I?  Perhaps I am just too old to get into those shenanigans any more now, but Halloween used to be such a hoot for us.  Oh, we never got destructive or mean or hurtful to anyone, but we sure had fun!!!

My girlfriend and I were close to retirement age the year we decided to dress up for Halloween and crash a Seniors Halloween Dance.  On a trip to Morocco the year before, I had purchased a couple of nylon, caped, gowns trimmed with gold embroidery that I had planned to  use for lounging around the house on casual evenings. By adapting these outfits and adding gold belts, lots of bangle jewelry, lace pillbox gold-trimmed head pieces and lacy veils from just below our eyes, we were totally unrecognizable!  Timing our arrival under darkness so that no one would see which car we came from  (in a small town, everyone knows your car) we entered the hall and joined the crowd. We did not speak (so we could not be identified by our voices) and with our faces veiled we had a ball as everyone tried unsuccessfully to guess who we were. When the music started, we deliberately asked various people to dance, men, women, strangers, friends, young, old, etc. This totally confused everyone. .

I left that hall "a complete unknown" taking with me a hilarious memory of the evening. Being the blabbermouth that I usually am, my biggest challenge that night was to not utter a single word for an entire evening, but I succeeded and no one did figure out who I was.  I was a fantastic evening!

What Is Success?

My Validation

I never wished for riches

I never wished for gold

I never dreamed of mansions

To have when I grow old

My dreams were rather simple

Though you may find them quaint

I’ve never been the “bad one”

But I never was a saint.

Success just meant achieving

A measure of recognition

A line to say I’ve been here

My goals have reached fruition.

So take your wealth and riches

And enjoy them as you will

I’ll enjoy my small successes

That’s where I get MY thrill!

Life Lessons

Some Peoples Children!

My daughter keeps telling me to grow up and act my age!  Honestly!  The nerve of some people's children!!! Just no respect for their elders at all.

Okay, so I should not be in such a hurry all the time.  At my age, I should not be galloping across the street like a race horse, especially when I do have plenty of time to take it slow.  But Sheesh! Old habits are tough to break! I have been rushing to - or - from something  all my life.  My dignity notwithstanding, I see no reason to stop now! There is always something - or somewhere - worth hurrying to, and wasting time has never been my forte! It's just is not my style, though I may have to admit that sometimes it might be less painful to slow down!

I was hurrying to a meeting last week and I was trying to cross the street before the light changed.  In my headlong dash, my foot caught on something and I literally crashed onto the pavement. Other than my dignity and a skinned knee, I did not think I hurt anything too badly.  I got up really fast, hoping no one witnessed my humiliation  but I am sure some people took a vivid image home of an old woman galloping across the street and the next moment splayed out flat, face down, on the pavement.

Anyway, I know I broke nothing but MAN!!! I hurt in places that never even got near that pavement! Those areas must be having sympathy pains for the areas that connected!   I realize that "this, too, shall pass!" but honestly, even losing my dignity did not hurt this much!
(Maybe I should listen to that cheeky kid of mine afterall!)

Memory Lane

I was looking for a certain file last night and I came across this poem.  I thought I wrote it for my blog but 
I could not find it so if this is a repeat, please forgive me.  My computer says I created it last month.  I remember thinking of a certain friend in connection with it.

Yesteryears

Amid thoughts that wander, stray and ramble

And memories all so poignant still

She sits alone rocking gently

With sinking heart and tear-filled eyes.

And faltering steps, she strolls through time.

She dreams, envisions and revisits

Those yesteryears forever gone

A distant past though unforgotten

A life of pleasures and delights

A life of sunshine - and of shadows

When life was full and graced with love.

Those days are gone but she remembers

Those intense moments of lows and highs

A steady stream of tears and laughter

Youthful spirits, exuberance, joy

A life that's now but a memory.

She sits - and rocks - alone!

Nature's Gifts

Autumn Beauty

Jack Frost was supposed to have visited us last night but we are still basking in the grandeur of the last hurrah of summer's flowers - now enhanced by the brilliant fall colors of the trees that have not released their leaves yet. The splendor of this season is breathtaking, though I believe that we, as Canadians do not appreciate it enough.

Fall beauty comes with a price!  Living in an apartment, I don't rake leaves anymore, but I recall when I owned my home it was not necessarily a chore I actually welcomed too much, especially if I had just finished doing it the day before, and overnight, the wind blew in my neighbor's leaves to replace them. To us, here in Canada, those gorgeous fall colors represent work, but people who don't get them, don't mind the work as long as they can enjoy the beauty. Can you actually imagine a fall without that brilliant foliage?

When we visited Australia, we were told that Australia's  trees do not change color.  In order to  enjoy that kind of beauty, Australia actually imports deciduous trees from other countries strictly for their fall foliage.

 It's a gorgeous time of the year, that time just before the leaves desert the lofty perches of the trees.  They  add such brilliant color to the landscape.

 Edmonton's fall skyline as as seen from the12th floor window

 I took this of our courtyard and gazebo in the back yard. Jack Frost will be wiping this out any day now.  Even the leaves on some of our trees are still green!   It is alittle cool to sit out there and bask in this glory these days,  but I am just on the fourth floor and I can enjoy this splendour from the comfort of my room.  These days are so numbered!  I am going to savour every moment I get!

On Thanksgiving Day

Recollections

As I look back over many years
Days full of joy and full of tears
Big expectations and morbid fears
We faced it all - and made life good!

We laughed, we cried, we danced, we hobbled
Our grim determination merely doubled
Steadfastly denying that we were troubled
By trials that life dumped in our path.

But life was good and life was giving
Through it all we made a living
God was patient, all forgiving
For our ingratitude and complaints.

Now comes the time to recognise
That blessings come in a disguise
With family woes and family ties
That we ofttimes fail to appreciate.

For gifts received and gifts rejected
Those gifts we should have all respected
For the things that we least expected
And failed to see their value mount.


So let's bow our heads and give our thanks
For all those people in our ranks
Fond memories in our "data banks"
And  a life that's full of blessings still!

Looking Back

A Backward Glance

Musing, remembering, reminiscing,

A reverie replete with aspiration and idealistic ambition,

Searching for the right words to convey

Those emotions so embedded in the psyche.
That prophecy spawned of a bouyant confidence
Emboldened by youthful optimism and vague design

Now abounding with achievement incomplete.

An experience untouched by life, as yet unaware.

But there is something disconcerting

Fraught with angst and unease

About exposing –

Or imploding a profile of a life

Displaying its illusion

Its hunger still unsated,

Its goal still awaiting confirmation

Its tenure still seeking termination

And in so doing

For all life’s trials – a recompense!

Dreams

Dreams- Fact or Fiction

When I got up this morning, I felt down  and depressed (doubtlessly caused by another one of my stupid and totally ridiculous dreams that sometimes invade my sleep time). I have heard people say that "dreams are wishes that your heart makes".  I could stand on the highest mountain and very loudly and very vehemently shout my denial of that statement . I'd have to be a raving lunatic to even consider some of the subjects I dream about - even if I had been born minus a heart!

Oh, it's not that my dreams are mean or full of unspeakable scenes, but it's just that they are sometimes so typically nonsensical, they are almost science fiction. ( And I am not into sci fi at all in real life.) So when I wake up after one of those dreams, I spend alot of precious time trying to figure out when where that silly idea came from in the first place.  Do I have a split personality??? What??? If I do, I'd like to meet this other "me". Perhaps I can be an ultra- successful author of science fiction novels. Certainly, they would  be much more interesting than my real life stories are.  They would have all my readers on the edge of their chairs, even the ones that were never interested in science fiction before!

Compensating

Compensating for Shortfalls

What is it about night time that seems to fuel the creative juices of the mind???  I hear people say "I'm a morning person. I do my most important work in the mornings!"

I just envy people who can "schedule" their productivity that well.  I must be a very disorganized person! My mind works on whim - never predictably (except in its unpredictability). I do have an overriding writing  goal and I am somewhat monomaniacal about it, but my "success???" toward that endeavor comes in time increments that are  unbidden, unbridled, unscheduled and sometimes even most inopportune!

That is why I can be at my computer at four o'clock in the morning just as easily as at four in the afternoon. All too often, sleep seems like a waste of time - particularly when the brain is still spinning and flinging ideas out in all directions. If I don't net them immediately, they fly out into the great beyond and are forever lost.

To overcome that problem, I used to keep a pen and a writing tablet on my bedstand, right under the lamp, to record fleeting ideas that merited preservation. Now, I have a voice-activated little tape recorder beside my pillow.  (You do what you have to do to compensate for shortfalls!) They say that when one part of you fails to work, other parts have to step in and fill the void.

Sleep time is negotiable, particularly when you are retired,  but even retirees need to recognize its value!

Just Nonsense

UH-OH

My poetic tire was hissing
There was no more air inside
I knew something was missing
I thought my brain was fried.

My wheels were turning slower
There was little oomph or speed
I must man that pump with power
Or hire myself a steed!

My zest for verse is getting rough
I can feel it shutting down
If I don't get off my old fat duff
Those faculties will drown.

I've gone to prose and story
That's not a problem yet
But verse in all its glory
Is a thrill I can't forget.

So bear with me in patience
While I pump air into those tires
 I will regain my licence
Before my term expires.

Today's Dream Today's Action

Dreams to Live By

Many years ago I belonged to Toastmasters.  I joined them with the express purpose of overcoming crippling insecurities. My timidity in front of crowds or strangers was turning ordinary situations into major struggles for me. I knew I needed to overcome that handicap in order to function in regular society.  So I joined Toastmasters  to  try to conquer my irrational fear.

In Toastmasters, we had to write and deliver speeches in front of other members. We had to be take our turn at conducting meetings.  We had to stand up and speak intelligently on any given subject for at least two minutes (without any preparation).  In other words, we had to learn to think on our feet.  It was good - but brutal training for someone with a monumental inferiority complex! I panicked, I stammered, I flubbed,  – badly! I literally wanted to turn and run and just forget about everything. 

But I hate unfinished business - and I hate quitting even more.  So good, bad or otherwise, I determined to complete that course. I did a few contortionist moves, kicked myself in my you-know-what, and did what I thought was impossible.  I completed the course - even made it to the Regional finals with my “Humorous Speech”.  Nothing spectacular, but for me, it was a major conquest!

When I retired, I found myself  stagnating intellectually.  I had no stimulation for my brain and at times I felt almost apprehensive about my mental state.  I'd forget something - or someone's name - and fret about deteriorating mental capacities.  I worried that old age was coming around more quickly than I wanted.  I still had a lot of unfinished business to complete.  I could not afford to get old, senile or ill. 

We all have dreams, hopes, aspirations, passions, pet hobbies, . Me – I like to write – poems, stories, a real novel – perhaps.  Someday – perhaps. 

I now have four books on line.  God willing, there will be more.

So here is the lesson that I want to impart to you – Don’t just flirt with “someday”.         Dream it???  Then DO it!     NOW!!!

Animal Therapy

Animal Magnetism
I was watching the Animal Channel on TV the other day  (one of my favourite channels, the other one being Nat Geo Wild).  The program was called Animal Magnetism.  I am so in agreement with what they were saying there.  The show was about how animals help sick children - and adults - to live a full life, get over a debilitating handicap, or in some cases even cure one.

Growing up and living on a farm most of my life I have always had very close relationships with animals.  (My two  memoir books relate many of our liaisons with the special animals in our lives.) However now I live in an apartment that does not allow us to have pets and that is my only drawback to this place, though I can fully understand their reasoning for that stipulation.  Sometimes it is just easier to prevent a problem than to have to correct it. This kind of apartment building has potential for animal problems. It is just much better to avoid those hassles.

Luckily I do have a partial solution to that problem.  My daughter, who lives here in the city, owns a miniature schnauzer and I kind of have some dibs on dog-love whenever I visit there.  When I was ill this spring, I stayed at Carol's while I convalesced and Bentley was my therapy dog. He was a such a sweetheart, just lay quietly beside me, his soulful eyes almost infusing me with his good health and energy.  Animals truly do have a healing  influence and they just seem to know when you need comfort and peace!

The Value of Research

The Value of Research

I was just reading Kristin Lamb’s blog and in her advice to writers, she was emphasizing the importance of researching the material you are writing about in order to avoid advertising your ignorance of your subject to your readers.  She cited a passage where an author wrote a story that involved guns but because of the author’s ignorance about guns, the author said something that was grossly inaccurate and impossible!   I can relate to Kristen’s frustration with the author ignorance. 

I once was reading a book (by a well known author) who wrote a novel that involved ranching and farming.  In her novel, this author frustrated me not once, not twice, but several times with her ignorance by talking about “castrating cows” and rounding up cattle from a distant mountain pasture in the space of a couple of hours and of shooting bear with a “shotgun” (without even the mention of slug shot). 

 Now as a long-time farmer, I was ready to pitch the book across the room just like Kristen did whenever the “castrating cows” and those expeditious cattle drives were mentioned.  That author obviously had absolutely no knowledge of farming or ranching and gave no consideration to the fact  that someone with a farming or ranching background might read her book and catch her glaringly obvious faux pas.

  

I know that it is difficult to have a working knowledge of every subject but is it not possible to just go generic and just say “castrating cattle or even livestock”?  The specific word “cows” could thus have been avoided and the author’s obvious ignorance camouflaged. The specific time lapse of the cattle drive could also have been simply avoided without detriment to the story.  

Research takes time and effort but sometime it is time well spent and Kristen had a good point there.

Counting Blessings

"Hope Springs Eternal"

I was just talking to a friend of mine who has terminal cancer and I was awed by her courage and her upbeat attitude. Some people should remain in this world forever, simply to maintain sanity in the rest of us. If it is true that the "Good Die Young", it is truly a great misfortune.  We all need a voice of reason to get us through difficult times in our life, but few of us can maintain an upbeat attitude in the face of tragedy or disaster. That takes fortitude of the kind few of us can muster .

I know some of my readers may be struggling with problems not exactly of their own making. Some of those problems are fixable, while others seem totally insurmountable.  However, sometimes a positive and optimistic attitude gives us the where-with-all to keep our heads above water even in the face  of adversity.

To all those struggling with problems today, I wish you the power of my friend's optimistic and positive outlook.   Her approach to tragedy was certainly a lesson in humility to me!  I should be counting my blessings instead of looking for little things to complain about.  Perhaps we all should.

Canadiana

Back Home Again

Well we're back home again after a fabulous 10-day holiday in Newfoundland! Although I have done my share of sightseeing tours pretty well worldwide, this was my first trip to our own east coast.  I found it absolutely fascinating!!! This unique area of our country is unlike any other place I have ever seen.  For us prairie chickens, it would definitely be "cottage country" with its myriad of beautiful lakes, rugged  hills, picturesque valleys and magnificent shorelines.  I was totally mesmerized (and more than a little intimidated) by the steep grades and often rather sharp curves of the roads that wind their way between the almost canyon-like rocky slopes and traverse the the island with such ease.  To me, they seemed like major engineering marvels.

We  spent several days sightseeing, exploring, and even took a boat ride out to see the whales and puffins, something that I truly enjoyed.  Newfoundland folks are so friendly and fun loving and so down-to-earth, so we felt welcome and at home all the time we were there.  They truly made our trip a wonderful and very interesting adventure.  They have so much fascinating history. I even climbed up to the Signal Hill "overlook"!

Nature's Bounty

Cherries Jubilee
There are alot of pies here and what does not go into delectable desserts makes very good wine!  Nature has been very generous this year.  The trees are loaded and as we drive down the back lanes, or out among the fruit farms, there is much to whet your appetite and tease your palette. There are tons of raspberries, sakatoon, cherries, apples, plums, and even apricots to temp us to stop and buy or perhaps at least to taste!

 

LATE!

Always Late
Okay, whoever is stealing time here, please give it back.  I still need it ---- badly!

I just checked my blog and I realized that my good intentions of at least one posting  per week has somehow badly fallen by the wayside.  I think it was Lefty Frizzell that used to sing that song "Always Late". He wanted kisses.  Me, I am more realistic with my expectations, I'm not quite so vain any more.  (That comes naturally with advancing age, you know.)  Still, even at this age, forget about that dog chasing his own tail. I still picture myself desperately hanging on to last few long hairs of the tail of a galloping horse  - and no matter how much I holler "Whow", that horse refuses to stop - or even slow down!!!!

I must be doing something wrong that I cannot catch up with my good intentions.  Stay with me folks.  I'll get there someday - somehow. Winter is coming and the cold will slow us all down.  Am I looking forward to THAT??????!!!!!   (Smarten up, Woman!)









































always Late

Gifts To Appreciate

A Crucial Luxury

I just got off the EPL site (Edmonton Public Library) where I browse for my reading material.  I am so glad to see that  there is a good selection of audio literature available to the people that have vision deficiencies. Just fifteen years ago, I could not fathom the importance of audio books.  Today I cannot fathom life without them!  In my memoir book, I called them a "Crucial Indulgence"!  That is what they are - Crucial - to those of us who have lost the luxury of simply picking up a book and enjoying the message within.  There are many of us that just cannot do that anymore.  Audio books are our lifeline!  When your eyesight is undiminished, you can navigate those tiny cell phones and all the information of that tiny microcomputer that puts the knowledge of the world at your fingertips.  Not so for us that are sight handicapped.

There are many authors that do not do audio books and that is a pity.  From personal experience, I know that I am limited to the rather few authors that do audio books.  I am so grateful that there are a good number of very good authors that do cater to us.  However, I am certain there are many good authors whose books I will never enjoy simply because I cannot read a book. My very own books are only in the printed word so far, though it is still my dream that I can somehow eventually get them onto audio, simply because I I feel I owe it to my similarly afflicted readers.

Therefore I say to those that still have the gift of good eyesight  --- Cherish it!!!   It can be gone tomorrow , no warning, no reason, no reversal!  Believe me, I know.  It happened to me.

Unique Pets

How is This for a Pet?

On nice days, especially in summer, I  like to take a leisurely walk down the promenade overlooking the verdant valley that runs through almost the middle of our city of Edmonton.   Along with the scenic beauty, I enjoy the fresh air and the relative peace and tranquility of an almost country atmosphere as the promenade is off the busy thoroughfare of bustling city traffic that seems muted and distant here. Many people utilize this area to just sit and bask in the sun on one of the countless benches along the promenade, for walking or running for their own personal exercise, or for walking their pets . It is our little piece of Eden within an urban setting and we all love it.

The other day, I had the pleasure of a very unique experience of seeing someone who was walking his pet - a tortoise - an African Desert Tortoise.  It was a most fascinating sight. Absolutely beautiful!  As you can imagine, this pet attracted the attention of just about everyone that happened to be on the promenade that afternoon.  That turtle was at least two feet long and probably about eighteen inches high.  it just ambled along slowly, oblivious to the admiration of his bedazzled fan club. The owner said it was fourteen years old and he had had it since it was tiny enough to fit in the palm of his hand.
 You just never know who you will run into on the Promenade!

On Racism

In The Footsteps Of our Race

I was watching CNN the other day and the topic was about racial prejudices and the plight of blacks and other minority races.  As a Ukrainian growing up in the forties, I can almost empathize with those who are on the receiving end of racial prejudice.  Mind you, I grew up on a farm in a very rural setting and was surrounded by other Ukrainians so I was not subjected to the painful bigotry and racial slurs that my father spoke about.  When he came to Canada, Ukrainians were ostracized and ridiculed. They were the “Bohunks”,  the “Galicians”, and whatever other derogatory term the superior English cared to label the poor peasant immigrants and  that came to Canada at the turn of the century. 

I did not hear those terms myself but I do remember being strapped for saying even a single Ukrainian word while I was on the school grounds.  Use of Ukrainian was cause for corporal punishment. In fact when I started school, because I knew no English, I was relegated to be a total mute for months, until I became proficient in the English language.  When we moved to the village for my grade nine, I was often teased for my Ukrainian accent.  (I still have it, I think, but in today’s multicultural society, I don’t think people notice it - or care anymore.) I do know that I have always felt that I needed to work harder than other folks to overcome the stigma of inferiority. I am still super-sensitive to those jokes and songs that depict Ukrainians as being dim-witted, slovenly, whiskey-swilling drunks in dirty coveralls and babushkas that are the source of “stupid” jokes in more sagacious society.

The way I see it, I don’t think any race, black, white or purple, has a monopoly on smart or stupid, good or bad, neat or slovenly, compassionate or mean, superior or inferior. Every race has its share of the good and the bad.  Every now and then, some person will rise out of the populace and leave some indelible imprint of him/herself that we find  fantastically great and admirable or absolutely terrible and atrocious.  The rest of us are then left to either try to bask in their shadow or to forever try hide from it. Both are difficult.

Would not life be wonderful if each and every one of us was judged solely on our own merits rather than on those of someone else - a single person or a whole race?  

Life Lessons

I just finished  reading - actually LISTENING (due to poor vision, I only do audio books), to Debbie Macomber's  book "God's Guest List" and  I just  realized how my last post " I'm a Wannabe" must look and sound. I am afraid that, in that post, I must sound extremely self-centered and egotistical.  I give no credit to the many "enablers" that have helped me to get to where I now am.  I did not get there under just only my own steam, though I must admit  to a somewhat monomaniacal personality.  My excuse for that is: now that I am retired, I can afford monomania.

 But getting back to to the subject I was talking about.  I realize that to some readers the very title of that book would be a turn-off!  Many people just cringe at the thought of being preached to. They do not wish to hear  bible passages or religious sermons and the like. But  the title  "God's Guest List" in this case is rather misleading.  Although the author does quote bible passages and she does relate the passages to her subject, this book is really not a "religious" book as per say.  The whole book is simply a philosophical approach to life in general.  Yes, it fits a religious theme, but that same approach can fit into an atheist's lifestyle or the lifestyle of any other religion (though I have to confess to ignorance of specifics of  religions other than Christianity).  Still, I am confident that other religions all share the same basic concept of "decency and common sense". What this book promotes is not "Christian religion"!  It advocates a common sense philosophy of life: "Strive to do your best and take advantage of each and every opportunity that presents itself along your path. Cash in on the lessons of your mistakes and the difficulties that you encounter along the way toward the achievement of your goals.

A couple of years ago, I blogged a short poem here entitled "The Value of a Mistake" (October 27, 2011), and that theme fits in with the suggestions that this book advocates.  Religion or philosophy, this book makes total sense for just plain LIVING and getting the most out of  life!  

I'm A Wannabe

I'm a Wannabe

 Since I read my first "book" (The Boxcar Children) so many, many , many years ago, I have dreamed of someday writing a book.  It would be so easy, I thought. I had dozens of ideas floating inside my head and I was convinced they were all fantastic!  (Youthful ignorance and unrealistic optimism, you know.)

From the perspective of youth, almost all things are possible.  Without the sobering influence of past failures and bitter experiences to hamper or reign us in, it is easy to dream big - even unrealistically big.  Which is a good thing.  Youthful optimism takes us onto uncharted pathways that can lead to major breakthroughs in many different fields of endeavour.   Great discoveries and monumental accomplishments have been realized because somebody "dreamed the impossible dream".  Nothing ventured,- nothing gained still holds true, no matter what age.  The optimism of youth is the power behind our countless successful ventures.

If we want something badly enough, we make it happen.  It may not be the ultimate dream of our family, our friends or even the average Joe on the street, but if it is OUR dream, it is worth striving for, worth OUR sacrifices and trials and even bitter disappointments.  Each mistake is a lesson we can capitalize on and utilize to our advantage.  It promotes advancement toward maturity and ultimate wisdom .  We all need to get there. Some get there sooner and others later but success in achieving our dream is everybody's goal.

I may never be someone else's idea of a successful writer, but I have achieved my ultimate goal.  What I aimed for and dreamed about, I have achieved. I still have alot farther to go and I may never really get all the way there, but I am on the road.  To me that is success!  

What are you dreaming about?????  Aim high!

Canada Day Poem (Late)

I am late with this poem.  I wrote it 3 years ago for our Tenant Association July newsletter. When my old computer crashed this spring, I lost several files that I had not backed up onto a memory stick.   I thought I had lost this poem forever but the editor had a copy in her files and kindly retrieved it for me.  It is still July and hopefully, Canada Day is still not totally forgotten. Forgive this less than timely publication. Regardless of the date, it still applies.

What is Freedom?

Freedom is a priceless endowment Canadians take for granted

Without rancour or apology – or gratitude

It’s “our right” our inheritance – our very own treasure

No one may trample it, question it, or disown it

Take it away, disclaim it or even earn it.

It is there, it is ours – free for the taking

Even if we fail to recognize or appreciate it

Even when we challenge, dispute, distort, or abuse it

It remains with us still

Unworthy, ungrateful, though we may be

The ever-loving puppy at our feet

Forever faithful, always patient, all forgiving, never judging

Though we be prone to such disdain.

In Canada, freedom is not an elusive, impossible dream

It is not a sad lament, not even a fantasy

Uttered with apprehension or dread

Lest we be overheard.

Freedom is not a nebulous vision on a misty horizon

A vague and hopeless delusion, unfruitful, barren

A beautiful mirage of an unattainable aspiration

A wistful thought, unrealized, in fear unspoken

A child not ever-yet to be conceived.

What have I done to be so privileged to posses it?

Worthy and deserving of this incalculable liberty?

I was born in Canada!

As for the suffering million poor of this world – there, but for the grace of God, go I!!!

Regaining Perspective

 New Perspectives

I have been feeling rather drained of ideas and energy since my bout with some ill health lately.  Because of it I had started to question my future in the writing field.  There is nothing worse than losing your drive and your hopes and dreams, even if they are merely a hobby and not "your life's work".  That can be a very a  lonely and unproductive state, a state of self-deprivation which is most definitely self-perpetuating.

Hobbies are important. They provide us with purpose,  something to strive for.  We all need that.  I was browsing the Internet and I ran across Kristen Lamb's Blog on  http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ I had seen it before but it had never impacted me as strongly as it did this time.  It was as if she was speaking  directly to me, telling me to hang in there, not to give up, to keep pushing ahead against the hopelessness and the lethargy and the indifference.  It made perfect sense and it hit home with tremendous force.

We Ukrainians have a saying that translates "Not wanting to do something is far worse than being UNABLE to do it".  That is so, so true.  Determination to do something can overcome many disabilities.  So I am through bemoaning my fate! Self-pity BEGONE!!!! I am going to complete that novel that has been sitting half-finished on my computer for months.  Look out folks!  It's on its way!!!!  Thanks, Kristen.

Demise of A Computer

 My Computer Lost its Hard Drive 

I used t'be full of ideas,
For subjects to write about
But something wiped my hard drive
I just have lost my clout!

My personal computer
That ran my brain before
Has been cleaned out of memory
It won't compute no more

I sit forlornly at my chair
My whole body in a hush
I try to jiggle that old brain
But it has turned to mush

When I lost my old computer
My old hard drive it did die
Now I just feel so empty
Cause my new hard drive is dry.

I have to to find some software
And reprogram this old brain
To work with Windows Seven
So I can work again.

I thought I could escape it
By avoiding Windows Eight
But all this new technology
Has altered my brain's fate.

I guess I'll have to just adapt
And join this new rat race
Or otherwise I'll keep losing ground
And admit to losing face.

 OH WOE IS ME!!!
 

Walking a Dog

Walking Bentley

He tugs so eagerly on the leash
As he tows me forward so forcefully
He's barely bigger than a rabbit
Yet he's a Clydesdale horse to me.

My dragging gait must be frustrating
He pants and wheezes with all his might
Yet he's relentless as he tows me
Almost choking  in his collar tight.

I know he loves run afield
Or down the street with someone young
But this old grandma just can't do much
The garden gate or what's beyond.

So we struggle hard against each other
He's pulling forth while I pull back
After several blocks of constant pulling
We're both ready for some slack.

This half hour of strenuous exercise
Is most enough to set my day
But Bentley's ready for another
Oh how I'd love to feel that way.

Those carefree days are gone forever
As I amble so laboriously
But Bentley smiles in adoration
Just happy to be towing me.

Back Again

I'm Back

Okay, just in case anyone has missed me in the last 2 or 3 weeks, I am back!  Just had a little set back and am not quite my usual self yet but I'm kicking hard to get there.  Life throws us a few curves sometimes and  and I know I have to roll with the punches but I'm stubborn and I'm not too eager to change.  Still, when there is no other way out, even us oldies have to learn new tricks.

So along with my new computer, my new schedules and my somewhat altered new lifestyle, I am determined to adapt and accept the inevitable.  Outside of being late once in a while, you will still be hearing from me via this blog for as long as I can do it and  for as long as you care to visit my page.  Today I will just touch base as I catch up with all my other "behind schedules."

See you later, alligator.

Ode to a Dear Friend

I lost a dear friend recently and this is my tribute to a very dear soul  who brought a shining star into my life for the few months that I knew her. I used to visit her in the hospital.

Goodbye LouLou My Friend

You tiptoed into my life so gently,

A loving heart, a  feeble breath

A pleasant word, a genuine smile

An eager welcome forthcoming still 

You asked for nothing, demanded  little.

Just above  a whisper, you only begged

“No, don’t go yet, stay abit longer”

Your frail delicate voice entreated

And I could not leave you so forlorn

I hardly felt you pierce my heart

You entered so discreetly as just a peasant "job”,

But you curled into my soul so deeply

And made my heart your “home sweet home”.

Your resilient spirit is my beacon

Your enormous foot prints my guiding path

 So sleep my friend, sweet thy slumber

Away from weary pain, distress

Sleep, for someday I will join you

And we’ll continue from where we left off.

I will sorely miss you

Your Friend

Cassie

Positive Power

 Positivity At Last

Okay after all that complaining about computers! Even I am tired of listening to me.  So I promise!!!  No more!  I am going to count my blessings.  And I do have lots to count.  Sure I have had  a few hiccups in my life, but who hasn't? So out with the negative and in with the positive!!! It has been a very busy June so far and  maybe if the weather  holds out, I may finally get a day to pull a few sneaky weeds from among the veggies on Tuesday.  That should give me a nostalgic thrill and a  high from yesteyear.

As well I am eagerly anticipating a trip to Newfoundland late this summer. That sounds like such a great adventure.  I have never ever been to Newfoundland and I hear it is a fantastic part of Canada,- in the beauty of its spectacular scenery, the unique richness of its heritage and in  the friendliness of its people.

I have made many trips within North America and  worldwide in my forties, fifties and sixties.  Before that, I had to stay home raising kids and farm animals and attending to  other  farm field work. Now I am relegated to basically staying close to home in a one-bedroom apartment or to spend time at my daughter's garden.  I spend my time writing and now it is my books that are travelling all over the world, which is the next best thing, I suppose.  My life has evolved well and and I am pleased with it.

Little did I know, when I was swathing that grain on that Manitoba farm, fantasising about world travel that I would be looking back on those times through the pages of my own books  that are being read  around  the whole world, including Australia, Great Britain, Ukraine and   all of Europe and North America,     How great is the technology of our our world!

 So far, I have not written too much about my travels yet but it is still get on my agenda. God willing, those books will come too. I  enjoyed travelling  and I loved all those countries that I visited.  The places and the people in them, were truly a lasting education.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to experience them all!    

OOOOps

It’s not me, it’s my computer

Modern technology has been a blessing and a curse in my life. It’s like that old adage men use when talking about their wives. “You cannot live without them  but living with them is not the greatest  picnic either."  I think when guys s complain about “the little woman", it’s just that  mucho phrase  they use because all the other mucho men expect them to use it.  Only in extremely rare cases are such comments made in earnest.

 

But I am not joking when I say that I truly have a love/hate relationship with my computer.  I truly cannot live without it but there have truly been several times when I said very unladylike things to it, or about it, and too often, even called it some very unflattering names. Because I am still struggling to maintain a facade of a genteel dignified and proper lady, I will not divulge that terrible secret to you .

Granted my computer is as old as I am “in computer years”. Still I have not abused it (except verbally when necessary).  Otherwise, I have not overworked it by asking it to search the world for minute unimportant information, "just because I can!" or asked it download complicated files or to perform the myriad of tasks that it is supposedly capable of doing simply by the push of a tiny button.  I use my computer for typing text, emails, and occasionally to surf the internet when I require some kind of information.  The relatively few other tasks the I insist on it performing for me probably constitute utilising probably only about 30-40 percent of its total capability.  So what is the problem here?  Why won’t the thing cooperate???? 

I  finally gave up fighting with it.   I bit the bullet and bought a new one.  It wasn’t that I was being cheap.  I just did not want to start learning a new program.  But enough is enough!  I did not even bother to give that old thing a decent burial!  It's behaviour of late did not warrant that kind of respect.  It can draw comfort from the fact that it will not be taking any more verbal abuse from me for the rest of its days. 

 But I am saving that evocative vocabulary for my new computer.  I’m sure, it too, will be requiring a reprimand every so often. It would just be expecting too much from any computer to to have it always behave rationally.  Computers just naturally toss in a hissy fit every now and then. It would be a shame to waste all that colourful terminology.  It took me years to perfect it!!!!!

PROBLEMS!!!!!!

Success ?  Or Failure?
Finally, I am back on line! My 2006 Computer finally gave up the ghost and I have had my son and my granddaughter practically a  living at my place for a whole week trying to resurrect it.  In the end we finally went to a store and I bought a new standalone computer --- and a new web cam as that also died of old age. I'm still not too proficient with the new processes.  This computer tells me that  I need new upgrades for my brain as my old brain is not compatible with my new computer!

 It has been a stressful  month and my eyes are almost in the same shape as my old computer was.  Only problem is I cannot go to a store and buy new eyes!!!! I AM trying to get technical in my old age however. Some stores are actually  really getting rich by capitalizing on my handicap.

In addition to my new computer, I now have a 50 inch TV in my living room, complete with an HDMI cable that lets me hook up my 2-year old laptop to it so I can  read what my laptop computer is telling me by simply reading the huge print on my 50 inch TV screen. As far as the standalone computer, well there is always the ZOOM  IN Feature I  can access on my 26 inch monitor.  Oh the thrills of old age!!!

 Now if I can only upgrade my brain, I may actually get somewhere.  In the meantime. thanks for your patience,  folks!  It's nice to be back again.  If you don't hear from me again, just assume that my hard drive has crashed too.  But wish me luck anyway!