Friday, 14 June 2013


It’s not me, it’s my computer

Modern technology has been a blessing and a curse in my life. It’s like that old adage men use when talking about their wives. “You cannot live without them  but living with them is not the greatest  picnic either."  I think when guys s complain about “the little woman", it’s just that  mucho phrase  they use because all the other mucho men expect them to use it.  Only in extremely rare cases are such comments made in earnest.
But I am not joking when I say that I truly have a love/hate relationship with my computer.  I truly cannot live without it but there have truly been several times when I said very unladylike things to it, or about it, and too often, even called it some very unflattering names. Because I am still struggling to maintain a facade of a genteel dignified and proper lady, I will not divulge that terrible secret to you .

Granted my computer is as old as I am “in computer years”. Still I have not abused it (except verbally when necessary).  Otherwise, I have not overworked it by asking it to search the world for minute unimportant information, "just because I can!" or asked it download complicated files or to perform the myriad of tasks that it is supposedly capable of doing simply by the push of a tiny button.  I use my computer for typing text, emails, and occasionally to surf the internet when I require some kind of information.  The relatively few other tasks the I insist on it performing for me probably constitute utilising probably only about 30-40 percent of its total capability.  So what is the problem here?  Why won’t the thing cooperate???? 

I  finally gave up fighting with it.   I bit the bullet and bought a new one.  It wasn’t that I was being cheap.  I just did not want to start learning a new program.  But enough is enough!  I did not even bother to give that old thing a decent burial!  It's behaviour of late did not warrant that kind of respect.  It can draw comfort from the fact that it will not be taking any more verbal abuse from me for the rest of its days. 

 But I am saving that evocative vocabulary for my new computer.  I’m sure, it too, will be requiring a reprimand every so often. It would just be expecting too much from any computer to to have it always behave rationally.  Computers just naturally toss in a hissy fit every now and then. It would be a shame to waste all that colourful terminology.  It took me years to perfect it!!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment