I’ve not been drinking horiwka
I have not been smoking pot,
I’m not “under the influence”
Though I seem to stagger alot.
I’m not the least bit tipsy
Though I look like I can’t walk
It’s really not my fault at all
That I waddle like a duck.
My head is really screwed on right
It’s the iceman who lost his head
He forgot where t’was that people skate
And flooded the streets instead.
So we grumble at that iceman
As mutter #*&%$@ under our breath
We struggle to maintain our balance
In spite of the his wicked threat.
We slip and slide and wobble
As we strain to stay upright
We're still trying to be civil
But we're losing that darn fight!